..It's too delicious.
My dad won't stop getting at me. I chose what I want to do, and he wants to make me feel bad like I'm his project and then close to him when I don't wanna be cuz of that and who he is and who I am you might say. I've felt unspoken, unhealthily, affection with other people other than my parents, like they went ahead and did something they never did and that I was supposed to do someday.
I'm sick and tired of my dad's suggestions. I don't wanna reason it out. I feel myself thinking of things and transforming possibly.
It's also too late for me to go to ballet. I don't even know how I'm gonna stay awake nor if I should use my money to see a movie and not get snacks.
I do feel skinnier from the roller blades. I got them so I wouldn't get mad online.. My dad is nasty and some other word I can't come to think of|seem to know. I have the house, don't think my dad is home for lunch today. Also, I have to iron and fold some things.
I did m.. again like I've been doing each day and I feel m*****ed. Different things happening I don't wanna pay attention to, don't know because what if things went crazy? I am very mad because I need support from my dad, and my dad would just create another suggestion. My biggest peeve is how he affects people I look up to cuz they don't really seem to need to be affected..
Well, guess Monday is ballet. I almost don't wanna got out because I feel m*****ed. I'd rather go somewhere myself than have my dad drive me. I was woken up early yesterday, as well, and that may be 1 reason I am so tired.
I might be feeling more as I would from dieting, eating healthier. You know, that ballet teacher was really nice.
You know, my dad took a book away from me that had suggestive pictures, a personality book I may just buy again cuz he never gave it back.. A lot of people who know him have another eye for him, and I don't know what affect that has on them with my dad living for suggesting things to people. I may be going a bit too far, but because of the notes I know he wanted me to go cross-eyed for him, that stuff that makes me feel like m.. I already said I like to keep my distance from him physically. It did strip me of my dignity, and I do not take anything back. If I am hurt emotionally, so be it, it's certainly a possibility with a what funny ole turd-boy like him now. I dunno what word I was looking for, mean it in a funny way, he thinks other people are maybe.
So, get the point, I don't want suggestions from my dad. If you are wondering @ my $90 roller blades, that's how much they are @ Sports Authority. I asked if my dad wanted to go to Target, but something in the weather. I don't regret buying the books, and my NOOK doesn't work. I have instructions on how to reset ot. }:] YOu hold down different buttons and wait for thigs.
My dad made another stupid suggestion I am stupidly having to write down, "Oh, and no yelling at Ellen." How gay is that? I said I was yelling once cuz I was tired of saying something else. I don't want him in my life like htat.. I don't wanna say stop cuz then he'll just be rubbing in what it is but not what it is. He'll have something hanging over me. Why can't he just STOP! And get outta my life cuz this person will anyway, I intend to make money from my artistic|performance abilities|talents and hang around other areas. Now, he thinks that's me doing something against him, being sarcastic. Well, it's not, and I'm allowed to do that and not have him nose around me. This is such a waste of my life! I used to go around excited in the world.
I'm telling you I'm really hurt.